I’m riding in a matatu that’s belting out some old school reggae tunes; just what I need after a long day in this hustler nation. It’s cold and the clouds look angry. I am bumping my head to some UB40 song, Red Red Wine, (btw, did y’all catch the president at the concert juzi! Ata sikuskia vibaya) Anyway, Lucky Dube’s song ‘Remember Me’ comes up and I just realize that I never really understood the song, until now.
The song is about a young man trying to deal with the pain endured when his father left and never returned. His dad promised to come back and take care of them but dude was a no-show. Straight from the covers of this book called life.
His mother died from a heart attack when she heard that he was married again and the young man is now orphaned and the only remaining member of the family. The young man tried to look for him but the woman he married was not kind to him. (Eye roll) So the young man is living a life of pain and doubt wondering why his father never came back or why he never loved them enough to stay. He wonders if his father still remembers him. He is definitely battling with abandonment issues.
Many people are living life with rejection and abandonment issues triggered by parents who just upped and left, which in turn, has done a number on most of them. They wonder what they did wrong or why their parents never loved them enough to stay. A parent is supposed to care, nurture, provide and protect their child. That is clearly not the case in this world. Caution has undeniably been thrown to the wind.
Parents abandon their kids for reasons best known to them, because I cannot really wrap my head around it, not knowing the consequences of their actions. They leave a trail of broken hearts, resentment, and anger in their children.
As a child, it is a sad state to be in. It is tough to always wonder ‘what if’, to struggle with identity, commitment, and trust issues. A child who lacks the physical and emotional care of their parents will end up having connection issues later in life. A child, who was abandoned by those who were meant to be closest to them, will have trust issues. Abandonment has seen many struggle with relationships where they either self-sabotage, are clingy, constantly need reassurance or find themselves in unhealthy relationships.
No one has to seek out the love and care of their parent. It should come automatically. Maybe humans should start doing better with their lives; you know, make wise and sound decisions and avoid causing hurt and pain to others. Love who needs to be loved by you. Care for those you need to care for. It’s pretty simple actually, but who are we?
For a person who has gone through this kind of life, fighting abandonment issues, dealing with rejection and always second doubting their very existence, because someone bounced, my heart goes out to you. You are important, you matter and you are enough.
‘Remember Me’ was thought-provoking, to say the least. And guess what, despite it all, the young man still musters the courage to tell his father “I love you”.