Forgive and Forget

For the last couple of weeks, I have struggled with writer’s block. Can’t really wrap my head around what’s going on really.  So today I was going through some work I had written a while back to see if I could get some motivation and get me going and I found this, dated February 20th, 2019, over a year ago! I read it and smiled. I smiled because of the rawness of it; the truthfulness and the honesty of how I felt at that particular time. Suffice to say that I am in a totally different headspace. So I share this with you today…

“I have known pain that is sometimes indescribable! A pain that only you can feel and understand. A pain that is so intense that mentioning or writing it down is difficult. This kind of pain eats and chews at you and kills you inside. Kills you till there’s nothing left. Pain brought about by others, especially those closest to you.

What do you do when you feel betrayed by a member of your family, your best friend, a spouse or lover, a close work colleague? How do you handle such a situation where the one you trusted the most messes you up and you are stuck carrying that pain inside you?

I have, as most of us have, gone through that kind of pain. This pain controls you like a drug. This pain consumes you and debilitates your entire wellbeing. You try fighting it off but the more you try to fight it, the more it holds and clings on tight like cuffs tied to your wrists. This pain will reduce you to nothing; make you feel hopeless and lost. Make you feel unworthy and… it is hard to repair this kind of pain. It takes a lot of might and a whole lot of power. 

So you learn, the hard way of course, that the only remedy for that pain is forgiveness.

Forgiveness is hard. It takes strength and courage. Some live their lives never forgiving those who wrong them. That is a disservice to themselves. There is nothing more liberating like the power of forgiveness. It sets you free. It makes you offload a heavy, unnecessary burden. It is a tough journey, because you have to do it without conditions. You just have to forgive.

So why do we forgive?

We forgive for our own peace of mind.

To unburden ourselves of the pain caused.

For our own emotional and psychological health and happiness.

To be able to live and enjoy life in the present because reliving the pain caused only holds you back.

To be able to move on without anger, contempt, resentment or wanting revenge.

Cause it’s the right thing to do.

Let go of all the terrible things someone said or did to you. It might take a while, it’s a process of course, but soon enough you will be able to let go. Leave it to God, to fate, to karma. Theirs is coming.

So live, let live, love, let love, forgive and try to let go. God asks us to forgive and forget. I am stuck at the forget part. How do I forget when someone keeps doing the same thing, intentionally, all the time? How do I forget when I have to see this person every day? How do I forget when I have to sit with them at work? How do I forget when we are related by blood and I have to live with them for the rest of my days? Forgetting is a task that my heart still hasn’t wrapped its mind to do. I am still learning though!’

Note that if you have wronged someone, please ask for forgiveness. It costs nothing.

Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”


I, like all humans, have a hard time forgetting. I forgive quite easily nowadays because it’s much easier for my wellbeing. The challenge lies in forgetting. Ideas are welcome… hehe… cheers!!


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2 thoughts on “Forgive and Forget

  1. Thanks for sharing. Very true, by forgiving we set ourselves free.

    On forgeting, not giving the hurt energy or attention over time will help you forget. This is following the fact; what you give attention to expands and energy flows where attention goes


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